{ wear }
{ GET OVER IT }
Chat reblogged from An adequate reaction with 27,979 notes
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
- Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
- Witness: "I only have one, you know."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
- Witness: "By death."
- Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
- -----
- Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
- The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
- -----
- Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
- Witness: "July 15th."
- Lawyer: "What year?"
- Witness: "Every year."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
- Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
- Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
- Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
- Witness: "Er...his face."
- -----
- Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
- Witness: "I forget."
- Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
- Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
- Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
- Witness: "Forty-five years."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
- Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
- Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
- Witness: "My name is Susan."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
- Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
- Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
- Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What happened then?"
- Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
- Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
- Witness: "No."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
- Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
- -----
- Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
- -----
- Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
- Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
- Witness: "That's me."
- Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
- Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
- Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
- Witness: "None."
- Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
- Witness: "Borofkin."
- Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
- Witness: "I can't remember."
- Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
- Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
- Witness: "No."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
- Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
- Witness: "Yes sir."
- Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
- Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
- -----
- Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
- Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
- Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
- Witness: "I could see his head."
- Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
- Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
- Witness: "The victim lived."
Source: rinkworks.com
Post reblogged from One humourous misadventure at a time... with 66,815 notes
Reblog if you’re a girl who likes girls, a boy who likes boys, or a person who believes it shouldn’t matter.
Why hasn’t everybody in the world reblogged this already.
((OOC: Gender has never been an issue for me. If I love you I love you, and that’s that. :D))
Source: beliefs-in-make-believe
Photo reblogged from But what is the link to reality? with 29,318 notes
moftiss-will-break-your-heart:
Wait a second. I’ve seen this gif plenty of times before, but I just realised that the picture on the back wall is pole dancing loki holy shit.
oh god oh holy god oh my god REMY.
/flails
WOAH.
oh my god.
omfg
No way…
Source: hulkling
Photoset reblogged from This Charming Sir with 146 notes
Jamie: Thanks for that - I will action that.
Source: condnsdmlk
Photoset reblogged from Madness. with 4,146 notes
The Baker Street Babes Birthday Giveaway: Holmes Version
The Baker Street Babes put our out first podcast one year ago today. Least to say we’ve come a very long way and it wouldn’t have been possible without all of you. So, the past few months we’ve been gathering prizes and goodies for a MASSIVE giveaway… and here it is!
In this version of the give away you win EVERYTHING below. Yes. EVERYTHING!
- Sherlock Series 1 DVD, signed by Benedict Cumberbatch & Martin Freeman (donated by Hartswood Films)
- Sherlock Art Nouveau print (donated by Daunt)
- Sherlock & John bookmarks (donated by Daunt)
- Sherlock t-shirt of your choice (donated by Qwertee)
- Baker Street Journal Spring Issue featuring an interview with Baker Street Babe Curly/Kristina. (donated by The Baker Street Journal)
- The full Sherlock Holmes Society of London dramatised canon CD set, signed by the actors. (donated by The Sherlock Holmes Society of London)
- Brainy is the New Sexy pendant in polished brass. (donated by Belaurient Arts)
- I Believe In Sherlock Holmes pendant in sterling silver. (donated by Belaurient Arts)
- I Believe In Sherlock Holmes keychain in nickel silver. Please be aware this is made of nickel and if you’re allergic to it you now have a free gift to a non-allergen Sherlockian of your choice! (donated by Belaurient Arts)
- The Detective & The Woman, signed by author Amy Thomas (donated by Amy Thomas)
- The Illustrated Speckled Band. (donated by Gasogene Books, Wessex Press)
- My Love Affair With Sherlock magazine by Caitlin Moran.
- The Sherlock Holmes Handbook by Ransom Riggs
- Large print of Sherlock & John in a train carriage by reapersun. Pen there for scale. (donated by reapersun)
- Baker Street mini-sign
- CD of BigFinish’s Sherlock Holmes: The Adventure of the Perfidious Mariner starring Nick Briggs. (Donated by BigFinish)
So? How do you win?
- You may reblog each version ONCE per DAY. The giveaway will run until June 10th.
- Likes DO NOT COUNT.
- The winners will be chosen by a random number generator. They will have 24 hours to confirm with their address. The first number wins the Holmes Version, the second number wins the Watson Version.
- We will ship anywhere in the world.
- You cannot win both versions of the giveaway.
- You do not have to be following us, however, this is a present to our followers and listeners, so it’s appreciated. Plus we do really cool things like interview Sherlock cast and authors and chat about Sherlock Holmes all the time!
- If you are following us and win, you’ll get an extra special gift on top of all of this!
- Any questions, naturally just ask. We’d prefer if you’d send an ask not anonymously so we can reply privately and not clog up people’s dashes.
You can listen to our podcasts [HERE]!
Follow us on twitter at @BakerStBabes
Like us on facebook [HERE]!
And visit our website [HERE]!
Source: bakerstreetbabes
Photo reblogged from One humourous misadventure at a time... with 2,017 notes
world saving/ending shenanigans should only be attempted after 10am and coffee.
Source: sekra
Photoset reblogged from The Wanting Comes in Waves with 8 notes
Commentary of Serenity with Writer/Director Joss Whedon
Here we have the hero shot and I have never used that term more literally in my life.
We designed the entire set and the entire sequence for this moment.
It has been pointed out to me that I have a problem making fiction that doesn’t have super-powered adolescent girls in it.
I don’t care I think that is one of the sweetest things I have ever shot and it makes me very happy.
Source: bad-wolf-rose
Photoset reblogged from Madness. with 46,946 notes
YOU GUYS NEARLY 11,000 OF YOU PUT UP WITH ME ON A DAILY BASIS. You guys listen to more of my crap than my own boyfriend generally does. That deserves rewarding. So this is an extra SPECIAL tea give away, and there will be THREE winners. Oh my god. Want a chance to become one of those lucky three people? Read on and follow directions.
THE PRIZES:
- First Place Prize: A set of all seven Sherlock Shipper tea blends [Sherlock/Moriarty, Sherlock/Irene, Moriarty/Moran, Mycroft/Lestrade, Lestrade/John, Lestrade/Molly, Molly/Moriarty]
- Second Place Prize: A set of all four* Avengers Teas [Thor, Loki, Steve Rogers, and Coulson *and possibly also Tony Stark if I make a tea for him soon]
- Third Place Prize: A set of all three Doctor Who Teas [The TARDIS, Amy Pond, and Rory]
- IN ADDITION TO THE ABOVE PRIZE PACKS: Each winner will get ONE blend specially created for them. It can be a character or ship or show or book or whatever that I haven’t done that they’d like me to do. It can even be a blend made based on THEM. Whatever the winners would like. They each get to request one, and they will receive it with their other teas.
I MIGHT ADD TO THESE PRIZES. If this gets reblogged like, a lot, or something, I might lose my head and also send the winners mugs to go with their tea. Or a book. WE’LL SEE.
THE RULES:
- Anyone ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD can enter EXCEPT AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND!! I am SUPER sorry for my followers down under because not only do you have to put up with terrifying wild life, you can’t even allow tea to be imported to help comfort you. Sorry, there’s like, crazy laws and stuff.
- You do not have to be following me to win, but it might be helpful to keep track of updates or changes (if any). Plus I plan to make some blends for other fandoms in the future, so if tea is your thing, it might not be a bad idea?
- Only two reblogs a day allowed.I did not realize how often people would reblog my last big give away soooo I’m going to enforce this LOL. You can reblog on as many days as you’d like, but yeah, only 2 reblogs a day please. I’ll be checking.
- LIKES DON’T COUNT. Sorry! You have to reblog!
- The give away will end and I will choose the winners on FRIDAY JUNE 1ST. I’ll probably do the drawing late at night on that day, so I’m going to say I’ll stop counting reblogs at 10 p.m. EST. Winners may not be announced until the next day or so, just to be aware!
- Here’s how the winners will be selected: Just like all of my other give aways, I’ll compile a spreadsheet or numbered list of all of the reblogs, and I’ll use the number generator on random.org to chose a number and find the corresponding username on the list. The first number I draw will win the first place prize (or, if they are more into Avengers or Doctor Who, they may chose one of the other prizes). Second number I draw will win the second place prize (or a choice between whatever two packs remain), and the third number drawn will receive the last prize!
[5/20 UPDATE] Dudes you guys are on a ROLL with this! I promised that if it hit 25k notes by the end of this weekend, I’d add another prize pack and, well, it happened. So now instead of three winners, FOUR people will win a prize. Same rules apply as before. The first place winner gets first choice of the prizes, then the second place winner, then so on. So what teas am I adding? CABIN PRESSURE!
The Lemon is in Play, Ottery Kisses, and Polar Bears are BRILLIANT!
And of course this prize pack will also come with a customized tea blend of the winners choice as well <33Thanks so much everyone! You guys seriously are just the best, and odds are, I may end up adding another prize pack at 35K or something if it actually gets to that o_o
[5/21 UPDATE] DANG GUYS. ANOTHER ADDITION ALREADY!
Not another prize pack, per se, BUT, I am possibly doubling the number of final winners. Basically, when I draw names for the prizes, the people that the winners reblogged the contest from will ALSO win the prize that the person drawn chooses. If the winner reblogged from me or themselves, they’ll still only get one prize. And I’m not going to win a prize in my own contest so….
Anyway, I guess this is a good reason to encourage your followers to reblog the contest from your blogs or something 8D;
[5/24] YOU GUYS ARE INSANE. SO. This has reached 35k. And I said earlier that if I created a Tony Stark blend, I’d add it to the Avengers Prize Pack. Well, I made Tony Stark, so he’s adding. But then I also made Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, and Natasha Romanoff as well. So I’m also going to add THOSE to the Avengers prize pack as well.
And hell, since I’m somehow about to hit 15k followers too (what are you guys even thinking, honestly), here’s another new prize pack so the number of potential winners is increasing:
Both of the Good Omens Teas! Aziraphale and Crowley! <3
Uh…. if this hits 50k I’ll think of something good.
Source: areyoutryingtodeduceme
Page 1 of 450
